It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
