at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize