It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Less talking, more tequila
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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