My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
