Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
