She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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