Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
