I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
