i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
