even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Randomize
