you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
