I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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