i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
