talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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