You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i think im in europe. pls send help
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
