i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
