what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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