yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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