I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
