yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
