im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he puts the penis in happiness.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Houston, we have a squirter
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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