I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
