i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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