i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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