Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
