He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
