Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
