Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
