I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The struggles of a small town man whore
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
