I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
