Just fell off a train. Bad.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
