shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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