I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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