WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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