i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
