everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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