Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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