Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
