The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
