The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
