I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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