OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
