If i could tip my vagina, i would.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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