I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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