there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
