5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
