he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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