apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
