I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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