I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
