I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
