The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
